Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize