Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
