Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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