thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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