she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
