My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
