do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
