is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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