i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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