he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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