you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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