haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
