just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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