Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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