i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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