so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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