My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
