Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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