I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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