it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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