they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
