Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
