he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I need a burrito and a hug.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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