Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
