She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
