Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
