wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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