I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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