just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
