yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
