I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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