My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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