plz talk dirty to me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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