I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
