It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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