you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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