i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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