I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
