I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My vagina just recognized that song.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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