He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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