I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
