hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
