His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize