she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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