My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
