I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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