you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So squirting runs in the family.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize