She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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