I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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