i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
