Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize