I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
