I accidentally burped into my bong.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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