Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
