Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
