I want to make a zoo with you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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