I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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