Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
