butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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