the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
