If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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