So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
