yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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