its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
