next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
