Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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