Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
