you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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