I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
