All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
