shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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