I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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