My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
BRING THE BAGELS
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
